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1. When you meet someone new, build the conversation around these 4 starter-questions

I am just going to ask. Give me a minute if you would. I needed to take the time to figure out how to say it in a responsible way. I really want to try to understand how you feel.

I Don’t Know What to Say to You Lyrics

I will, to the best of my ability, try never to do or say that again. I will never to do or say that again. Do you want to go first or second? Can I continue? Would you be open to talking about it some more? Can I get a do-over? For more by Andrea Wachter, click here. For more on emotional wellness, click here.

Andrea Wachter is a licensed marriage and family therapist. When you sign up, we'll keep you posted with a few emails per week. Ultimate Guide to Making Money. Automating your Personal Finances. How to ask for vacation days Word-for-word email script. How to get your overdraft fees waived phone script provided. How to get clients online: 6 ways to find freelance work fast. How to get out of debt fast Why am I so damn lazy? And how do I stop being lazy? I imagined this so intensely that I immideately just broke down in tears xD Thanks for the laugh!

Confidence is a funny thing. It was something I lacked for a long time, but then when I finally managed to get some, I realised how much I could do. If I were more confident I would probably be dedicating all the time necessary to learning how to drive. My most embarrassing story comes from years ago when I was in the military. After about 30 seconds of nothing coming out of my mouth, the entire unit burst out laughing, and our CO thanked me.


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I dont know I just have got so jacked up about the idea again of socializing. Scenario planning is definitely a surefire way of dealing with awkward situations. It is like your Story toolbox idea. Uve got specific questions backed up with perfect answers at least you think , uve got stories to tell perfectly learnt. VErrrry good! Been doing this for a while now. And here is the kicker, doing these Without even Having to think about what negative or positive they can be thinking about me.

So that is called confidence in social situations to me, when u can express yourself completely freely, without the single thought of what the others be it a passer by, be it a classroom full of students, be it a networking event, be it a HUGE AUDIENCE, think about you.

What to Say, When You Don’t Know What to Say

I wanted to kill myself, but first HIM. In terms of the body language play poker. You learn a hell of a lot of how people react talk, move, think and feel at a real live poker table. My problem is which Emily alludes to in some extent is that my mind goes blank. This leaves me in a downward spiral which is hard to pull out from, especially in situations like an interview. Is there a course, book, guide, tactic or strategy that can help one to speak more fluently? I feel exactly the same way Rakish. I believe that it may depend on the other person or group and how relaxed they seem.


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  • If a person seems genuinely interested in what you have to say they make you feel more relaxed and confident. Others make act stressed or uninterested and make you feel less confident and more likely to forget what you want to say. You may sound foolish at first but you can overcome your obstacle. Good luck! Its impacting my confidence a fair bit.

    I Didn't Know What to Say Empathy Card | Emily McDowell & Friends

    Have you found any solutions since identifying the root of your problem. I am a confident person. I like to think I can handle any type of conversation that comes my way. Bring it! Great group of people. I stood around before it started with the group leaders and 3 other members.

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    No one was talking. Everyone kind of just smiled at one another when one of the leaders chimed in accounting our low turn out to the BIG Hawks game that was on. At this point, I proceeded to say outloud…. Jason to confess my sins. I was not contributing anything positive to the group and created an extremely awkward social situation. I think about them everyday and I see this person at least 3xs a week.

    Oh and Ramit, HOW do you go up to two people having a conversation already and not awkwardly join in? Travis, that was too funny!! I needed that today!

    I just forwarded this to a group of people going to a conference to talk to people and try to get jobs. I think it will help people talking to strangers, for sure. Personally, I used to be more shy and scared, but I find that the first step is not caring how it goes. Just forget about all the disasters that can happen, and focus on the good things that can. I still keep in touch with people I randomly met for 5 min a year ago.

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    Examples of Empathetic Responses

    If I were more confident. I could stop living in fear. I could work to achieve goals rather than work to avoid failure. I would be happier. I would be a better Father, Husband, Friend. I would be more at peace.

    So, What Do We Say?

    Practice will wear down the fear and intense self-consciensciousness that shy people suffer from. Go Ramit! Like the video. People like to talk about themselves, get them going and you wish you never did.

    Thanks Ramit, I have found that recently I am wavering in my confidence. At other periods in my life I have been very socially adept, I wonder if transitioning to the top dog position at work and that changing social structure has left me a little off balance. The scripting of possibilities is a good reminder to go back to basics.

    Joining two strangers in a conversation is very hard — I still struggle with that issue. If I were more confident I would speak with more decision on meetings and louder!! Remember a business lunch where a big boss was asking me questions to start a conversation.